A Deliberate Oddity

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

7:12 am - Unemployment, Day 1

I am no longer a gainfully employed individual as of this morning. I thought I would feel ecstatic and happy, but I mostly felt a bit anxious and unsettled when I got home from work last night. I assume once Lucas arrives I'll be too tired and absorbed with keeping him alive that I'll lose this feeling of aimlessness.

I would love to write a big long retrospective all about my job's highlights, quirks, and disappointments over the last three years, but I suspect putting that kind of thing out into the internet (particularly when it includes not altogether flattering observations on the management philosophies at said job) is never a good idea. It's very likely that I will be employed again at some point in my life, and you don't want that sort of thing to pop up during a routine employer Googling. So we'll leave the quirks and disappointments aside -- all jobs have them, anyway, and mine weren't demonstrably worse than those at any other job.

When I decided to go to law school, my plan was to get a non-profit job in children's advocacy. It's pretty phenomenal, given the year I graduated, that I ended up with the job I did. My own issues aside, it was a privilege to be allowed to work on behalf of my clients, foster kids with disabilities, to get them the education services they needed. I'm not sure how good I was at it (not as good as I could have been, I am quite certain), but I hope I was able to make some very small amount of difference to some of them. As for the clinic job, as aggravating as it could be, I take some pride in knowing that I brought comfort and peace of mind to a lot of extremely stressed and anxious people during a crappy time of their lives.

Okay, enough introspection. It's my 29th birthday today! Sadly, the weather isn't nice enough for Birthday Plan A - Beach Trip. Birthday Plan B should be fun also. Just not sure what it is yet!

current mood:

contemplative

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

7:09 am - So it begins (possibly)

We assumed I still had four weeks to go -- first-time moms tend to be pregnant even past their due date. I was kind of hoping for that, actually -- I wanted to sneak in a showing of The Avengers before the first month of newborn sleepless crazy time got started.

But the doctor tells me I'm 1.5cm dilated, 90% effaced. And baby "dropped" yesterday. So while it could still take another week or two, my body has definitely started the process of expelling this tiny human into the outside world.

We're ready for baby, certainly -- if "ready" means that we have all the necessary "stuff" and the nursery is organized and hospital bag is packed. But if "ready" means emotionally or mentally ready, well -- it's unlikely that was ever going to happen even if I had another six months to wrap my mind around becoming a mom.

The best news about baby's potential early arrival? Doctor restricted my driving to no more than 30 minutes a day -- her way of ensuring that I never have to drive up to Vista to run my clinic again! (I was pretty stressed about the possibility of going into labor while a 60-90 minute drive from my hospital.) I still have 11 more days of work, in theory, but they'll all be at the downtown office, which is lovely, quiet, and a bit boring now that my replacement has started work.

current mood:

anxious

Friday, April 6th, 2012

7:37 am - The Most Magical Things about my Harry Potter Baby Shower

This past weekend my friends Ali and Amy threw me a Gryffindor Tea Party themed baby shower. I know! I have the most amazing friends in the world, I am convinced. My parents were in town as well, and lots of my very favorite people came to celebrate the impending arrival of my son. It's a little humbling to find that I have so many wonderful people that care about me that much. I'm not quite sure how I fooled them into being my friends. (P.S. writing "my son" gives me butterflies in my stomach every time.)

Here, in no particular order, are the most magical things about my shower:

- The decorations: I think my favorite was the "Desirable No. 1" posters that Ali tweaked to have Lucas's ultrasound photo in them instead of Harry's face. I want to frame one and hang it up in the nursery! My aunt also sent along a Hogwarts Banner to hang up.

- The food: Guys, there were chocolate frogs! And Amy made Golden Snitch cake pops and a Quidditch field to display them on. My sister, stuck on the East Coast by her silly "job", sent along a giant awesome pile of Harry Potter themed decorated sugar cookies. And Amy made up adorable goodie bags for the guests that were shaped like broomsticks and had truffles and jelly beans inside.

- The guests: Most of the guests I invited were from out of town, so it ended up being around a dozen of us at the actual shower. I like smaller parties better - it's a little overwhelming to be the center of attention anyway so fewer people is less intimidating. Sara flew in from Houston, and Alex and Kelli both drove down from LA to attend. It was so great to see everyone! And there were several babies in attendance: Savannah, Parker, and Owen. They are all at different ages (10 months, 5 months, and 6 weeks, respectively), so it was fun to see them all together.

- The photos: My friend Crystal from church is a professional photographer, and she agreed to take some photos of the shower which turned out great! I even have a few "bump" photos for posterity that I don't hate, even though I am as big as a house these days. She also gave me a newborn photography session as my present, which I am super excited about!

- The presents: The presents all fell into my two favorite categories: Practical or Awesome. We have pretty much our entire registry taken care of, which is mind-boggling to begin with, and a few people thought outside the box to great success. The most hilarious is that I ended up with three separate stuffed snowy owls ("Hedwigs") from three different people. I have a little Hedwig family now! Or Lucas does, rather, but I will enjoy them until he is old enough to appreciate them. My mom made two quilts for Lucas, a sleepytime quilt and a tummy time quilt, along with themed books and music to go along with each. She made a custom lullaby mix with all our family songs from my childhood, and somehow tracked down a CD copy of my beloved Disco Mickey Mouse that we used to have on a record. Now I have something to listen to in the delivery room! Just kidding. Probably.

As you can tell, it was a pretty amazing day. My due date is a month from today, so things are starting to feel intense around here!

current mood:

cheerful

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Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

7:37 am

50 days until my due date. 31 more days of work.

The nursery is slowly coming together. A little too slowly for my taste, but I'm trying to be patient until after my baby shower in a couple weeks. It's funny how much people just want to buy you adorable baby clothes -- if all a baby needed was tiny, unbearably cute onesies, then I'd be ready for parenthood tomorrow! I am an advocate for buying the most boring, practical thing on a registry -- yesterday, I picked up a Diaper Genie for a friend whose shower is a week before mine. It doesn't get much less adorable than a trashcan designed specifically for poop.

Brandon's party went swimmingly! The weather was amazing, the food was great -- having it catered was such a treat. It really makes throwing a party incredibly easy! All we had to do was clean the house and make cupcakes. Of course, catering is off the table for the next few years, but it was nice while it lasted.

I am operating at a level of moderate discomfort pretty much all the time now, but generally I'm doing great. I am still sleeping well aside from 1-3 nightly trips to the bathroom, and I'm able to go for walks and do some other light exercise on the elliptical or with hand weights. I miss running, though! Baby kicks all day long, although they feel less like kicks and more like a tiny person squirming around inside me as he outgrows his living space. As of my last doctor's appointment, he is still measuring like a normal size baby. I am wary about getting my hopes up -- not sure if he's simply saving up all the growing into a monster baby until the last minute to trick me.

Most other parts of my life are boring. Just sort of waiting around for the new stage of my life to start.

current mood:

anxious

Friday, February 24th, 2012

7:39 am - Various Updates

I've been wanting to update in a more organized fashion, but my work seems to be trying to punish me in some way for quitting, so I've had way too much to do during the day instead of composing updates. So here are some updates in list form:

- Oh yeah, so I quit my job! Well, gave notice that I will be leaving for good once the baby is born. Some unexpected good fortune at Brandon's job means that it looks like his salary can almost certainly cover our bills and expenses for the time being, just putting vacations and nice dinners out on the chopping block. So I'm going to see how I like being a stay-at-home mom for six months, then decide if we want me to go back to work part-time, or figure out a way to work from home. I find myself strangely and strongly opposed to wanting to put my kid in day-care (although I'm perfectly fine with that choice for others, go figure), so I'm hoping this new "job" of housewife and mom bucks the trend of my hatred and resentment toward every single other job I've ever had.

- We went to New York City! Technically, we stayed in New Jersey with my sister, brother-in-law, and their adorable adopted racing greyhound Peloton. We had a wonderful time relaxing in their house and venturing into the city a couple times as well. I was concerned when we planned the trip about how able I'd be to move around the city comfortably, but I was fine for the most part aside from needing more rest breaks than usual. Notable NYC adventure moments included the Natural History Museum, brunch at Bobby Flay's Bar Americain, and a matinee viewing of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. In all, a successful last adventure as non-parents. And now I have no current plans to get on an airplane for at least the next year -- which will be by far the longest stretch I have gone without air travel in my entire life.

- Baby stuff is starting to get organized! We have the dresser and crib set up, and will likely be ordering the glider this weekend, our last big item that we need. I had Monday off and spent the day going through all of the clothes/toys/books/etc. that we've been given (new and second-hand) so far and getting it sorted, washed, folded, and neatly put away. There's still quite a bit of work to go to get the nursery up to scratch, but actually having started feels good. I'm still feeling amazing, considering how gosh darn pregnant I am (I hit seven months this week, for anyone keeping track), although I did have to throw in the towel on running. I miss it already! But I am trying to content myself with walks and using the elliptical at the work gym.

- Brandon and I have pretty much made the decision to embark on the greatest adventure of our marriage thus far! No, not the baby -- we're going to cancel our cable. I know! It would be hard to find two people less likely to give up the Friends reruns and cooking shows that constantly stream through our house. But with a tight budget, saving an extra $100 is nothing to sneeze at; plus, Brandon got some gadget that allows us to wirelessly connect our iPad to our TV, so we can watch Hulu or whatever on the television stuff. So, we won't be giving up our shows, or at least the ones that are readily available on the internet. I am very interested to see how well this works out, and frankly, a bit bummed. But the hope is that we learn to do other things with our time (like, learn to keep our child alive).

Well, that turned into quite the update. That's all for now, I guess. Although, before this blog begins its inevitable descent into mommy-blogging, I may switch back to my Blogger site -- it's quite a bit easier in terms of uploading photos and things.

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

7:12 am - Ten of the most interesting things I discovered while going through my childhood belongings

10. Seven Susan B. Anthony dollar coins.

9. A thick packet of printed out emails detailing an incident of boy-related youth group drama from 1999.

8. Every birthday or holiday card I was given from ages 13 to 22.

7. A black rubber rat given to me by my 4th grade fake boyfriend. The rat's original origin was from said fake boyfriend's entry for a school Halloween pumpkin contest, a dead rotting pumpkin surrounded by toy rats and cockroaches.

6. An unopened pack of dragon tarot cards from my surprisingly elaborate dragon collection that I was always afraid to look through because I thought they were blasphemous. Oddly enough, this belief did not prevent me from hanging onto them for over a decade.

5. An elaborately detailed schedule for the "Best Sleepover Ever" created by myself and my closest childhood friend Alex. Example from said schedule: 8:30-9:00pm: Pretend Argument. 9:00-9:30pm: Create dances for songs from Ace of Base album.

4. A nearly complete set of Lion King trading cards, rubber banded and double wrapped in sandwich baggies to protect their integrity. Kept in a locked box, the key for which we discovered quite by chance in a completely separate location.

3. A handwritten entrance examination created by me allowing a person to rise in rank in the caste system I created for my imaginary world called Quel.

2. A tin box filled with broken limbs from my 113-member porcelain animal collection.

1. A collection of diaries detailing nearly every day of my life from 1997-2004. Sadly, approximately 90% of the entries discuss my daily sightings or interactions with whichever boy I happened to have a secret and unrequited crush on at the time.

current mood:

nostalgic

Saturday, January 7th, 2012

11:16 am - Reflections on a Decade as a Runner

This month marks my tenth anniversary as a runner. It's played such a significant role in my life over the past ten years, it just seems wrong to let the occasion pass without some kind of acknowledgment. I didn't start out wanting to be a runner. My dad had always been a runner, it was an automatically understood thing. Mom and sister and I, we were none of us, to put it mildly, naturally inclined to be athletes. But my freshman year in college, I dutifully enrolled in the basic physical education class everyone at Pepperdine had to take, secretly terrified of the 40-minute run I'd heard you had to complete in order to pass the class.

But then, the unthinkable – my PE professor was actually nice! After a lifetime of gruff former football players with impossible expectations, I had an enthusiastic and encouraging runner who actually complimented me for what was clearly a Herculean effort on my part to complete our running assignments. I nearly threw up after the 40-minute run – but I finished it. The next semester, partly inspired by my experience in the class and partly to stave off the loneliness that had set in as I realized that I had failed to make a single friend in my first semester at college, I decided that I was going to train myself to run 5 miles. I did laps around the college track at night, while other people were out partying with their new buddies. I had an mp3 player that would hold about an hour's worth of music and a newly acquired hoard of illegal downloads, and would circle the practically empty track at the slowest possible trot, taking a walk break every fourth lap. By the end of the semester, I could finish five miles without even feeling like I was going to die. It was quite an accomplishment for me.

The next two years of my running career were lackluster at best. I spent most of the rest of 2002 getting quite chubby, first at my summer job at an ice cream store, then through stuffing myself with unhealthy food during my semester in London. I got back into running in the beginning of 2003 as a way to lose the extra 10-15 pounds that had crept on in the last eight months. I still didn't have many friends (most had stayed on in London for a second semester), and went back to my old habits of running the track at night, losing the rest of the weight through a diet of canned soup and Lean Cuisines since I didn't yet know how to cook anything. Running as a way to keep the weight off, and partly just because I was beginning to enjoy it, lasted all the way through to the end of my junior year.

Sometime before the beginning of my senior year, I heard about a marathon training program at Pepperdine taught by none other than my old PE professor. I talked to my dad about it, and he said that if I trained for a full marathon, he'd come out of "long distance" retirement and run it with me in the spring of my senior year. I ran my first race, a 10K, as part of my training that year. It was horrible! I went out way too fast and was exhausted by the time I got to the finish line. The marathon training wasn't much better. After a couple months, anyone that was anywhere near my speed dropped the class and I was left the bring up the rear of the training group, sometimes finishing more than an hour behind everyone else during our long training runs. Add that to the fact that I rarely ran more than twice a week while "training" and my longest training run was around 16 miles, and it's a damn miracle that my dad was able to convince me to finish the race at all! As it was, I nearly blacked out at the finish line, and got separated from my dad for nearly an hour after I wandered off like a crazy person into the crowds and he couldn't find me again. My first marathon – very glamorous.

After another year of lackluster running while I tried to survive my first year in law school, Dad convinced me to sign up for the inaugural Disneyland half-marathon. My training was not spectacular, but the race was incredibly fun and while at the expo for that race, I entered into a drawing for and won a free entry into the following summer's San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon. Since I had the free entry, this motivated me to track down a proper group training program, as I didn't particularly relish the idea of training on my own again for another full marathon.

That was how I found the San Diego Track Club, a wonderful organization with a phenomenal, well organized marathon training program. With their guidance and support, I kicked my training up to five days a week, the most I'd ever run in my life, including weekly speed workouts and long runs. Suddenly, having never run faster than a 12-minute mile in my life, I was finishing 10K training races in nearly an hour's time. It was amazing, a real breakthrough in my running career. The race, unfortunately, didn't turn out quite as well – the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon is a hot, hilly race and I have this annoying tendency to walk when I'm exhausted and in pain. I did manage to cut down my marathon time by nearly 25 minutes, though, which is nothing to sneeze at. It was a good enough experience that I re-enrolled in the training program the following year and trained even harder, cutting down my marathon PR by another 15 minutes. I've still never quite made my time goal of under 5 hours, sadly, but my full marathon career seems to be on a sort of indefinite hold. It simply became too difficult once I had a full-time job and a husband, to figure out where five runs a week were going to fit into six months of my new life. And now that we've got Lucas on the way, who knows? A fourth full marathon may not be in my future, but that's okay. Running them makes me fucking miserable anyway!

In the three and a half years since I ran my last full marathon, I've settled into a comfortable routine of one or two half-marathons per year, along with a handful of smaller races. Half-marathons are a wonderful length for a race – you can train for them fairly well with only 3-4 months preparation, running 3-4 times weekly, so they don't cut into a busy life too badly. I'm lucky to live in a beautiful city with nice enough weather that there are good half-marathon options available to me right here in San Diego all year round. I even ran one with my family last month when I was four month's pregnant. It's been a long road to this point, but running is simply a part of who I am now, and that makes me extremely happy. Although it's unlikely that I'll be able to pull off any distance races this year, I look forward to eventually training for my 8th half-marathon and hopefully to pushing my son along in some for-fun 5ks by the end of the year.

current mood:

bouncy

Saturday, December 31st, 2011

12:56 pm - Top Ten Books of 2011

I haven't done this list in years! But I started keeping track of my books again this year. Attempted to keep track of movies as well, but the file got corrupted sometime back in March and I couldn't be bothered to recreate it. Also, we see a lot fewer movies than we used to, and 2011 was nothing special for movies (Harry Potter 8 aside), so the list would not have been particularly interesting. Books are better than movies anyway!

I read 52 books total this year, including these ten favorites.

10. Incarceron by Catherine Phillips: I really liked the concept of this book – a giant prison holding half the world's population that was meant to be a paradise but turned into a hellish, well, prison. The outside world stuck in "Era" was kind of weird as a counterpoint, and it often felt like the story took forever to get anything done. I think this is more because I listened to it on CD as opposed to reading it.

9. Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks: I always like her writing and this one was no exception. The story was a bit of a downer, but when isn't that true about a Brooks novel? I liked the way this one ended, for Bethia at least if not Caleb and Joel. Sort of a good metaphor for what happened to all the Native Americans by white settlers' hands anyway, I guess.

8. Tortall and Other Tales by Tamora Pierce: I am such a sucker for a Tortall story. I don't usually love short story collections, but this one had a few great stories that tied into some of the novels I love, so I enjoyed that. I read this back in February, and have already read it through a second time, so you know I liked it!

7. Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares: I keep trying to swear off books by this author because they are so darned depressing, but I couldn't resist finding out what had happened to all "my girls" in the last ten years since the fourth book. If anyone had to die, I'm glad it was Tibby, and I loved the stories given to B and Lena (Kostos! I seriously cried when they finally ended up together). Carmen's story was less interesting, but that's always been true. I found it an immensely satisfying bookend to the series, and I'm very glad I read it.

6. The Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare: Brandon and I read the whole Mortal Instruments series together this fall, and I have to say I wasn't particularly impressed by it or attached to the characters. He swore up and down that I would like this one better, and he was right! Something about the characters and story are far more interesting than her other present-day books set in the same universe. Maybe it was the Victorian steam-punk thing, I don't know, but I'm really looking forward to the sequel. Brandon got it for Christmas, so I just have to wait until he finishes it! Read faster, Brandon!

5. Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness: My sister described this to me as sort of "Twilight for smart people," and I mostly agree with that. There is certainly a lot less angsty teenage moping, but still with a good amount of romance and the pleasant bonus addition of history and academia. Parts of it were extremely cool, particularly the family home that changed and added rooms and such. I'm interested to read the sequel, especially since this one ended on a bit of a cliffhanger.

4. The Help by Kathryn Stockett: I know I'm a year or so behind on this one, but I have to say I found it extremely enjoyable. I read this as book club assignment (the first and only book club meeting I have attended to date), but mostly because I wanted to read it. I really enjoyed all the period details, and picking out personality similarities between Skeeter and I. My favorite part, though, had to be Aibileen's discovery of her voice as she started to write down her stories. She was definitely my favorite character and I loved the parts about her prayer life, although my favorite subplot had to be the highly entertaining relationship between Minnie and Celia.

3. Bossypants by Tina Fey: It's difficult for a book to get me to either laugh out loud or cry, depending on the subject matter. So it says a lot about how much I enjoyed this book that I spent several nights annoying my husband by giggling constantly or outright cracking up over some of the essays in this book. Very, very funny lady.

2. Storm Glass trilogy by Maria V. Snyder: Okay, I know it's cheating to put a whole trilogy on a top ten list, but I don't care and it's my list so there. A little background on this author: Her first novel, Poison Study, is one of my favorite fantasy novels ever. When I was working on my own book over the past two years, making my book good in the same way that Poison Study is good was my highest aspiration. So when I realized on a routine trip to the library this summer that she had written a whole new trilogy without me even realizing it, I totally freaked out. As a whole, I may have enjoyed this trilogy even more than her first, although Poison Study is still my favorite of all her books. The romantic interests she creates are fascinating, and Devlen in these books was no exception. Highly recommended if you enjoy female protagonist-driven fantasy.

1. Life as We Knew It trilogy by Susan Beth Pfeffer: O.M.G. This post-apocalypse YA trilogy about what happens on Earth following the consequences of a natural disaster of epic proportions (a meteor pushing the moon closer to the Earth) was phenomenal, particularly the first installment, which I read in one long 6-hour marathon session one evening when Brandon was out of town. The second was almost equally good; I remember actually hiding my Kindle under some vaguely work-related papers so I could read beyond my lunch hour because I physically could not put it down. The third one was a bit of a downer, but hello? Apocalypse, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Extremely well-done, and hands-down the best books I read this year.

Happy New Year, all! I am keeping things pretty basic on the resolutions front this year. My resolutions are as follows:

1. Have a baby.
2. Keep him alive.

current mood:

happy

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

8:25 pm - In which I talk too much about my bladder and my son

Finally got to have my ultrasound on Friday. It was both very traumatic and very exciting. Luckily (!) the traumatic part of it had nothing to do with my child, who is completely healthy and normal and, frankly, getting disturbingly large.

Anyway, if you've never had an ultrasound, you're required to fill your bladder beforehand (it pushes the lady-parts that need to be viewed into a better position for the machine, or maybe the techs just like making us miserable). I was skeptical by how much water I was being asked to drink -- I know my body pretty well and I was pretty sure I knew exactly what would happen if I drank 32 oz. of water and was then forced to hold it for an hour and a half. Sadly, I was right, and basically had a nervous breakdown in the lobby when my appointment was 20 minutes late. Most annoyingly of all, the tech told me once we finally got underway that my bladder was way more full than it needed to be, and I was allowed to empty it more than halfway before continuing the ultrasound! Argh. Moral of the story: Sometimes, you know more about yourself than a medical professional does. Also, there is no need to be a "10" on the "going to pee my pants" emergency scale when you are waiting for your ultrasound.

Okay, that was probably blog TMI, but it really was a traumatic experience, and I'm bummed that I remember that part of the day as much as the part where I finally got to see my son Lucas. Yes, it's a boy. My husband is over the moon -- I was indifferent and am so excited just to finally *know*! I have two friends who chose not to find out, and I really don't get it -- I feel so much more connected to and excited about this pregnancy now that I've "met" Lucas, as opposed to the vague theoretical supposedly alive entity that was living inside me before Friday.

It's almost Christmas! We are all ready around here -- presents wrapped and mailed, treats baked, meals planned. My parents are coming into town this Friday. Should be a wonderful holiday!

current mood:

cheerful

Monday, December 5th, 2011

7:16 pm - Las Vegas Half Marathon Race Report!

So I successfully survived the Las Vegas half marathon yesterday! The plan was for myself, Brandon, my sister, her husband, and my parents to all run the race. Very sadly for my husband, he came down with some mysterious almost-definitely-not-faked-to-get-out-of-the-race illness that kept him in bed trying not to vomit up his insides all day. But the rest of us soldiered on, despite temperatures in the mid-40s that this Southern California girl is definitely no longer able to withstand comfortably.

The cool part about this race, the whole reason we all decided to run it to begin with, is that it was held at night and the actual Strip was closed down for us all to run down. That part of the race was extremely cool.

The not-so-extremely cool part was that the race field was also in the mid-40s -- over forty thousand people running down the Strip! That is more than twice the number of the next biggest race I have ever run, and I have to say it is not an experience I would want to repeat. It was essentially a 13-mile long game of Frogger; that is, of Dodge-the-Walker. Generally, when I'm running long distance, I like to get in a zone (I call it Zombie March) where I can ignore the fact that I'm exhausted and in pain. But when you have to constantly be alert to dodging around the constant existence of walkers in front of you, there's no chance of clicking over to Zombie March mode. So the race felt much longer and more painful that it needed to be. Also, I'm pregnant, which makes running harder both because my cardiovascular system is working harder to keep us both alive, and my joints and ligaments are all messed up and hurt more the longer I run.

That being said, and the bummer of Brandon's illness aside, it was awesome to get to do the run with my parents and sister (my brother-in-law ran ahead of us, but we four stuck together for the whole race). I've run a distance race with my dad, or with mom, but it's very rare these days that the four of us do anything with just the four of us, and I think that experience alone was probably worth all the pain in my knees today.

And no, I won't be posting my time, although I will say it was about 30 minutes slower than my next worst half marathon time ever. But I love being able to say that I ran 13.1 miles while I was four and a half months pregnant, and I think I can blame that extra time on little Frodo's current parasitic hold on all my internal systems.

current mood:

sore

Saturday, November 12th, 2011

8:02 am - Thanksgiving!

Brandon and I are hosting our first Thanksgiving this year. It's not our first big holiday dinner - we had 15 people over for Easter dinner in our tiny condo last year and it went fantastically if you look back at it now. It's one of my very favorite memories, in fact, because Jaimee was there and being spectacularly Herself that day. At the time, however, I had to get ragingly drunk in order to survive the stress of the day. Yes, on Easter. I am super classy. So this year is significant in that it will be my first large holiday meal thrown while completely sober (minus the few sips of wine we agreed I can have every once in a while).

But we pared down the guest list quite a bit, so it's just going to be a handful of our closest friends, and possibly one or two orphans. Most people are with their families on Thanksgiving anyway, so available guests are fewer. We're not going to make the entire meal either, only around 75%. This is the menu so far: turkey, ham (not a typo -- for a proper Missouri Thanksgiving, apparently both meats are a requirement), mashed potatoes, dressing, cranberry sauce, and green bean casserole. That last would probably have not made the list only we've been getting tons of fresh green beans from our CSA that we can't finish, so we've been freezing. This seems like the perfect occasion to use them -- I just tried green bean casserole for the first time last year and found it to be delicious even with canned green beans. Our friends will probably bring at least a dish each as well, so that adds up to so much food I can't even stand it! I'm getting quite excited.

I started the holiday season a bit early yesterday. I had the day off work. The original plan had been to track down some second-hand maternity clothes, but I managed to acquire enough through other means that I don't particularly need any more until I start getting a bit bigger and cease fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes completely. So instead, new plan: I started Christmas shopping instead! I usually start officially shopping on Black Friday, but I thought this might be less stressful. I ended up going to eight different stores. I am positive that this is a record for the most shopping I have ever done in one day. I did manage to finish half my Christmas shopping, though, hooray! Plus I added in an extra stop to pick up new running shoes for me at 50% off at my favorite running clearance store, and an extra-exciting stop to buy my first baby item: the car seat! It is way early to start shopping, of course, but we had a 15% off coupon and that is the only item that I have researched so far and knew what I wanted. The rest will probably wait until after the holidays. I don't know if anyone has told you this, but babies? Freaking expensive. Just so you're aware.

I am supposed to be running a 12-mile training run right now, but it is pouring down rain and my husband came down last night with what is either a cold of some kind or a mysterious "illness" so he can get out of our 12-mile run, so he is sleeping. Hopefully it will stop raining in the afternoon, and maybe we can go out and do it later. Still planning on the Las Vegas Half-Marathon. It will likely be my worst half-marathon time ever, but Mom and Sarah have graciously offered to hang in the back with me so I won't feel bad about making the whole family wait an extra hour for me to drag my pregnant ass across the finish line. Just the guys will have to wait (Dad, Brandon, and Sarah's husband Mark), and that's their own fault for being so stinking fast, now isn't it?

current mood:

cheerful

Friday, October 28th, 2011

2:15 pm - Top 10 nicknames I would like to give the fetus growing inside me

10. Cletus 9. Darling Precious Rainbow Sprinkles Moonbeam 8. My Little Parasite 7. Monstro 6. Lord Tosseldorf, the Denier of Delicious Foods and Drinks 5. Frodo Harry Potter 4. Hermione Cimorene Eowyn Zoe 3. Kal-El SuperBean 2. Dammit! 1. Sparklepants the Magnificent
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Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

7:47 am - News for Release Immediately

To: World

From: The Family

Subject: Recent Rumors

Good morning. It has come to our attention that many of you have expressed concerns regarding the forthcoming and highly anticipated release of the initial R-T hybrid model. Today we can confirm exclusively that the rumors are true, and the hybrid is in fact due for his or her entrance into the world sometime around May 4, 2012.

Many are saying that the R-T hybrid will contain too great a level of awesomeness for the world to support. We can assure you that this will not be an issue. We have been monitoring global awesomeness levels for some time and are confident that they will remain stable following the hybrid's arrival. Though its awesomeness levels will surely be of a level unlike anything you have seen before, we have been contributing diligently into a number of awesomeness offsets that will ensure the levels stay within an acceptable and safe range to prevent a dangerous global awesomeness overload and subsequent meltdown. We repeat, there is no cause for concern.

That being said, it is always our recommendation to prepare for the worst case scenario. Therefore, our current recommendation is that all who are able to do so begin stocking up on canned goods and other necessary supplies to ensure maximum preparedness. By using common sense and working together, we can all look forward to the hybrid's arrival with nothing but a healthy sense of excitement. Thank you for your time.

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Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

7:38 am - Television Time!

Ah, we're back into that most excellent time of year -- new television time! We're trying a couple new shows this year, and we've cut one or two to make room. Brandon and I are what you might call avid television watchers, but I'm also trying to learn to be okay with the idea that there may exist good-quality television that I would enjoy that I simply do not have the time to watch! I know, pretty ground-breaking stuff.

We finally decided to stop watching Chuck after a) we never even ended up watching the last two episodes of last season and b) stupid Morgan got the Intersect, ugh. I'll probably keep up with recaps on the internet just to see how it turns out. Also, since we've decided to cancel our Netflix (we just aren't using it enough to justify the raised cost), that cuts out a number of shows that I watch just on DVD, like Dexter, Justified, and Community.

The new shows we tried were New Girl, Ringer, and Terra Nova. I really like New Girl so far, but I don't know if the other two will stick. SMG is great in Ringer, but the show itself is just too serious and dramatic for me. I need my drama to have some humor in it or I lose interest and Ringer is dead serious. Terra Nova is all right; mostly I am watching it because of the dinosaurs. The characters aren't particularly compelling, and it seems likely to be canceled given the cost to make the series versus the number of viewers.

Then we've still got our list from last season. *Deep breath* How I Met Your Mother, Castle, Glee, Raising Hope, Parenthood, The Big Bang Theory, Grey's Anatomy, and Bones. Doctor Who is implied but since it airs in the summer, doesn't count for the purposes of this list. I could probably cut out Glee at this point and not miss it much -- I pretty much like the musical numbers and that's it. The writing is spectacularly awful, and the only characters I like at all are Blaine and Coach Bieste. How I Met Your Mother is of course several seasons past its prime at this point, but I am so attached to those characters that there's no way I could stop now. Same with Bones and Grey's Anatomy. I am stuck with them until the bitter end, I think.

That's about all I have to say about our television habits. Are you impressed or horrified? I also read occasionally, I promise.

current mood:

geeky

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Monday, September 5th, 2011

8:39 am

I won my hearing, hooray! Ultimately, it was less scary than I thought it was going to be. The attorney was a real piece of work, though. Three pieces of evidence to support this conclusion:

1. When we got into the courtroom, he sidled up alongside another attorney (who was there for an unrelated hearing) and starting whispering trash talk about me and my client just loud enough for me to be able to tell what he was talking about.

2. His hissed accusation that I was "poisoning" his witness by sitting with her and my client during the recess.

3. His closing argument contained the statement: "If she'd really been raped, she would have called the cops."

So, I didn't really know how it was going during the hearing itself. Opposing Counsel called four witnesses (I didn't call any, but I re-examined all of them after he had finished), so it took well over an hour to finish. I got to say "Objection" twice, but I was overruled both times. At least OC got overruled when he objected to me as well. The judge was very quiet throughout and didn't ask a lot of questions to any of the witnesses, so I was pleasantly surprised at the end when she granted my client a restraining order for 5 years! Generally permanent orders are only granted for 3 years.

So now it's all over, thank goodness. Hopefully the win will allow my boss to forget to give me another one for a couple months. I have much more interesting things to do with my time. Sort of.

Training is going great! Brandon is getting to be faster than me, which was inevitable. We ran 6 miles on Saturday morning, hooray for us! It's nice to be running regularly again. I like having a running partner -- it definitely gets your lazy butt out the door far more often than I ever did on my own willpower. I've lost about 7-8 pounds since we started back in May, although I don't know if maybe that's what I normally weigh when I am running regularly and eating healthy. The last time I was doing both of those things, I didn't own a scale.

Off to enjoy a blissful day off work!

current mood:

accomplished

Friday, August 26th, 2011

7:17 am

I want it to be the end of the month so bad I can taste it! If I can just get past this damn court hearing next week, I'm going to feel so much better. There's nothing wrong with August really, I just can't get behind a month without a single day off or holiday in it. Labor Day can't come soon enough for me!

We did do some fun things in August, though. Went wine tasting in Temecula with some friends, and came home with several bottles of delicious wine, including an orange-infused champagne. Pool parties, dinners with friends, all good things, interrupted by endless days of insufferable work. Also we are back to running regularly and doing great! We ran our first 5-miler together last weekend. Doing another one tomorrow morning. Hooray for being in shape!

Commemorated a year since Jaimee died a couple weeks ago. I wrote up a long, extremely depressing blog post about it, but ultimately decided not to post it. It was cathartic enough to write it, I think, without making all of you cry too. Jist of the post: I really miss my friend.

If I can survive until mid-October, I don't have to work more than one full week in a row until mid-January! Doesn't that sound freaking amazing? The holidays are way better than stupid holiday-bereft summer. Summer is only good if you are a full-time student. Otherwise it is just weeks of wistfully staring out your window wishing you could leave and go to the beach.

Okay, enough complaining. I'm actually in a pretty good mood today. Only one more week until my new interns start and the stupid hearing is over with!

current mood:

cheerful

Friday, August 5th, 2011

5:36 pm - Thoughts on the day of my 10-year HS Reunion

I'm missing my 10-year high school reunion tonight. I might have made the effort to fly up there for it were it a possibility, but I'm completely out of vacation days after the July trips, and I'm already in the dog house at work for requesting too many schedule changes. So I anticipated that a request for an unpaid day would not have been looked upon with favor!

I am somewhat disappointed that I won't be there. A few people I'm still friends with are allegedly attending, and it would have been nice to spend time with them. On the other hand, I think any disappointment stems mostly from missing out on my imaginary, idealized version of the reunion. You know, catching up with people you've barely kept in touch with, laughing over old drama and silly memories – basically the heartwarming Hollywood version. The reality, since it involves me, would likely be far more awkward and involve more stilted small talk than easy reminiscing.

I also don't like the idea of navigating through the inevitable dance of justifying my existence for the last decade through my accomplishments, namely in the area of career, marriage, and children. Er, one out of three's not bad, right? (PS I am referring to my awesome marriage, not my career.) Here is how I imagine most of my conversations going were I to be there this evening.

-Hi, [Blank], I'm Elizabeth T____. Used to be Elizabeth R____?
-[blank expression, followed by a polite smile]
-I was that girl in [random class we had together]? I rarely talked, but did every possible scrap of homework assigned, and some that wasn't?
-[polite nod, possible but unlikely dawning of recognition in their eyes followed by this dreadful question:] So what have you been up to for the last 10 years?
-[Here is where the nervous sweats begin] Um, I went to college then law school, and now I'm a nonprofit attorney for foster kids in San Diego where I live with my husband Brandon. [Note use of adjective 'nonprofit' before noun 'attorney/ to try and stave off inevitable attorney jokes]

Potential replies

- [insert inevitable attorney joke]
- [insert comment about how awesome San Diego is]
- [insert comment about how fulfilling and meaningful it must be to work with foster children]

Potential replies to their replies
- Haha, fake laugh, while I actually call you a douchebag in my head
- Agree that San Diego is awesome then ask person what they do even though I probably have already read their entire Facebook profile
- Um, possibly some pleasantly self-deprecating nonsense that is mostly a lie.

Then we awkwardly stare at each other until the other person inches away to talk to someone they like better and actually remember. And scene!

Okay, so it probably wouldn't be that bad, but my mind always tends to go for the worst case scenario. It is one of the many ways I have not changed since high school! In the interest of some further, unnecessary introspection, let's talk about other ways in which I have changed/not changed since I graduated high school.

Ways I have changed since high school
- I am able to start and maintain a pleasant conversation with a stranger or casual acquaintance without blushing, stammering, or feeling like I am going to throw up. I love this about myself, especially since I had to work so hard to learn how to do this.
- (This one's pretty recent but probably what I am most proud of) I have evolved from being a "person who says she's a writer but never writes anything" to being a "person who actually writes stuff all the time and can't stop"
- I am a runner and have finished 3 full marathons and 6 half marathons.
- I drink alcohol, frequently and with enthusiasm (although typically in moderation. Enthusiasm =/= alcoholism!)
- I am at peace with my appearance. Note: the absence of self-hate does not imply that I think I'm a 10. I have just grown up enough to stop wasting time disliking parts of my appearance that will never change and some of them I used to hate I even like okay now.
- Blah blah academic accomplishments bullshit who cares
- I have a Brandon! And he is very nice the vast majority of the time.

Ways I have not changed since high school
- I am a giant nerd.
- I feel socially awkward a lot of the time (even though I am better at hiding it)
- Self-deprecation is my main form of humor.
- I am still a Christian and regularly attend church. That is actually pretty big, I know so many people who sort of abandoned religion once they were out on their own.
- Hmm I have having some trouble coming up with things.
- I have never done any illegal drugs? I still breathe oxygen? I think I am out of interesting things for this list.

That's it from me, FHS 2001 grads! Hopefully I will catch you in 2021.

current mood:

nostalgic

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

7:26 am - Return from the Ozarks

Finally! Our month of craziness is over. I so need a weekend just to sit and stare at the wall.

I had a great time in Southern Missouri this past weekend. Yes, you read that correctly.

It was wonderful to have a mini-vacay with just me and Brandon before the family reunion. We stayed at an adorable bed and breakfast in Branson and saw a show in the evening that starred one of the B&B's owners as the bass singer in a quartet. Branson was described to me as the Vegas of Missouri, which . . . . um, not. Maybe the Reno? Or Laughlin? It was still cute and kitschy though, and the country show was fun. It ended with a salute to the veterans and a patriotic song medley -- nothing wrong with it, just pointed out how very very far from home I was! Then we barely made it to the final open restaurant in town before it closed at 10pm. Yeah, Vegas you are not, Branson.

On our second day we went to a theme park from Brandon's childhood, Silver Dollar City. We were a little worried about how expensive the tickets were, but wanted to go anyway. I got bored waiting for the shuttle to take us into the park so I made Brandon walk even though it was about a kajillion degrees outside. I struck up a conversation with the one other family brave enough to make the trek, and the mom offered us her two extra tickets for 1/3 the price we would have paid otherwise! It was a really great start to the day. The park was a lot of fun. We went on a few rides, saw a show, poked through the cutesy little crafts shops. The roller coasters were very cool because the whole park is nestled in the Ozarks and so there are green trees everywhere. The roller coasters went right through the middle of all the trees which was very pretty and cool. We had a very fun half-day there despite the heat.

From there it was time for the main event of the weekend, the family reunion. It was held at a nice lakeside resort. It was too bad it was so hot, we didn't really get to enjoy the lake at all. Luckily there was a nice swimming pool so I got to go swimming, my favorite thing! Also there were lots and lots of strangers who are apparently related to Brandon and they all wanted to hug and/or kiss me. I was glad to get to see my siblings-in-law, who are all very nice, and spend time with my littlest nephew. Then on the flight back we managed to upgrade both our seats to the extra-legroom kind for no extra charge. Score!

Now it's back to the grindstone of work. Work should be getting a bit busier as the summer comes to an end. But that's okay because I FINISHED MY BOOK!

current mood:

cheerful